?

Log in

Jodie Tonner [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Jodie Tonner

[ website | My Website ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Self Conscious [Oct. 23rd, 2013|07:48 am]
Jodie Tonner
Every time I think of Parahoy I think about the pool and stuff which means I'll have to wear a swimsuit and that makes me so unbelievably nervous to the point where it makes me not want to go at all. And that is so stupid because this is going to be the most perfect holiday ever that loads of people would die to go to and here I am worrying about how I look. And it is so stupid that I even care so much about my body and that I am so self confidence to the point where I just want to cry. But why should I even care what people think? Why does it even bother me?! That's the worst part because it shouldn't even bother me at all, yet it does. Why should I care when I know the media fucks with things and people don't actually look like that. Why let people's petty little comments win and bring me down? Because this is my time to finally be happy and get away from everything, and I don't want to have to worry about how I fucking look. Who the fuck cares?! Everyone is going to be staring at Paramore anyway. Get over it. It will be fine. Cool.
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [May. 8th, 2013|06:14 pm]
Jodie Tonner
I hate this family. I hate this house. I fucking hate myself and I hate how I feel. I don't blame people for hating me. Everything is fucking dumb. I fucking hate everything. What is even the point in anything at all? Everything turns to fucking shit anyway and I'm sick of it.

At least yesterday I had a good day. I miss Adam and I miss Paramore and I miss everyone from the shows. I wish that can be every day because I'm not happy like this. I'm not happy living here. I'm not happy with the people I am surrounded by. I'm not happy with myself or what I do, or in this case what I don't do because I've been doing fucking nothing for a whole year.
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [May. 8th, 2013|06:00 pm]
Jodie Tonner
Holy jesus mother fuck I hate myself so much let me out of here fucking fuk
LinkLeave a comment

wow [Apr. 2nd, 2013|01:43 am]
Jodie Tonner
[Current Music |Last Hope - Paramore]

i can't believe i feel like this again. if i wasn't seeing paramore on friday i would probably try committing suicide again. wow. back to the old times. this fucking sucks. i can't even be happy with new paramore music. i just want to feel happy and i can't believe i've gotten this low again. :|
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2013|02:40 am]
Jodie Tonner
[Current Music |Last Hope - Paramore]

I feel like total shit. I don't know how that is even possible because I have the new Paramore album to listen to. But I do. I know why and it's fucking dumb.
LinkLeave a comment

Llliiiifffeee [Mar. 17th, 2013|11:32 pm]
Jodie Tonner
Like but do I have to I don't want to I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I don't want to I can't UGH stop stop what is even the point why do I even try with anything I just want to never wake up lol aw shit why am I feeling this way again h AH aiahaiahaha cool!!!!!! Cooooollll cooollll wowow cooolllllll paramore aren't even making me that happy anymore like if they can't even help what the fuck is going to like I guess my friends are the only thing right now but woooww can I just NOT
Really good post bye!!!!! :-) :-) :-) :-:-)))-;$;$:)-)
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Mar. 16th, 2013|01:20 am]
Jodie Tonner
This is fucking dumb.
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Mar. 16th, 2013|01:18 am]
Jodie Tonner
I feel bad again.
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2013|06:42 pm]
Jodie Tonner
I feel like I just ruin everyone's life.
LinkLeave a comment

No [Mar. 13th, 2013|07:59 pm]
Jodie Tonner
My sister thinks she is my mum. No. Fuck off. Go away. Stop trying to control my life. Stop treating me like shit. Leave me the fuck alone. Wow. Can I just leave?

If my nan does one little thing for me it's like "STOP DOING THAT SHE CAN DO IT HERSELF" and then she shouts at me like it's my fault and I'm doing something wrong. But if my nan does something for her it's fine??? Fuck off. Fuck off. FUCK OFF.

She moans about everything I do. I'm not even exaggerating. If I breathe she shouts at me, if I blink she shouts at me. "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A RUDE BITCH?!" Um, no. Fuck off. All I did was blink my fucking eyelids. I'm not allowed to be in my room all day but it's okay for her to be in hers all day??? What difference does it make that she has a boyfriend in there with her? Hm, wow. Sorry I don't have someone in my room fucking me 24/7.

EDIT:
Perfect fucking example. About five minutes ago Lucy came into my room and told me (more like shouted at me) I had to put my dinner in the oven or I wouldn't be having anything. I was going to make my own dinner soon anyway. So I went downstairs to put it in the oven and my nan was about to put it in too. So I came down to put it in myself and she fucking shouts at me. FUCKING FUCK OFF FOR FUCKING SERIOUSLY FOR FUCK SAKE I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FUCKING PUT IT ON WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I FUCKING COME DOWN FOR FUCK SAKE I FUCKING HATE MY FUCKING FAMILY EVERYONE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY LOVE THEIR FAMILY BUT I FUCKING HATE THEM.
LinkLeave a comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]